Ask a Question – Avoid Making a Statement

Nothing shuts down a conversation faster than a statement.

There is nothing more powerful than a well-crafted question. It provokes deeper thought from the receiver and demonstrates your empathy for their thoughts and feelings. In a group setting, asking questions helps to quickly gauge the direction of the conversation.

Why Avoid Making Statements

In contrast, making a statement often presents a one-sided view from the speaker, which can come across as condescending. Additionally, it provides little insight into what others are thinking.

An Example

Imagine you and a colleague have just finished a day-long facilitated session. If you are unhappy with the facilitator or the outcomes, the easiest but less effective response might be to voice your displeasure outright.

Instead, ask your colleague, "What surprised you most about today's session?"

This approach serves several purposes:

• It shows that you value their opinion.

• It prevents potential conflict if your views differ.

• It may reveal insights you may have missed.

Catch Yourself and Ask a Question

The next time you feel inclined to make a statement, try turning it into a question instead. This can lead to a greater understanding of the feedback you receive. It encourages others to appreciate your presence because it shows that you prioritize their needs over yours.

---

Communicating with FINESSE is the not-for-profit community of technical professionals dedicated to being highly effective communicators and facilitators. Learn more about our publications, webinars, and workshops. Join the community for free.