Asking questions as a trusted advisor is a nuanced and deliberate process that unfolds over time. Trusted advisors guide decision makers on some of their biggest life and career decisions. Asking questions as a trusted advisor contrasts with persuasion or manipulation, where narratives and emotions carry the day (like buying a car or shirt). The long game approach of communicating as a trusted advisor requires empathy, patience, consistency, and an in-depth understanding of context. Remember, asking better questions as a trusted advisor is a long game.
"A trusted advisor gets one shot at credibility."
Building a Foundation of Trust
When asking questions as a trusted advisor, the primary focus is on building and maintaining a long-term relationship based on trust and mutual respect. Unlike one-off questions aimed at persuading or influencing a decision in the short term, trusted advisors ask questions demonstrating a deep understanding of needs, values, and long-term objectives.
This approach involves two key aspects.
Demonstrating Empathy and Understanding
Trusted advisors start by asking questions that show they genuinely care about the decision maker. That’s why having empathy is one of the seven bones in the FINESSE fishbone diagram. Trusted advisors are committed to understanding their decision makers' unique challenges and goals and putting those needs above their own.
Example: A trusted advisor might ask, "Can you share more about the key challenges you've faced in your industry and how they've influenced your current strategy?" This type of question shows a deep interest in the client's journey and helps establish a foundation of trust.
Focusing on Long-Term Goals and Values
While short-term questions often focus on immediate decisions or quick wins, trusted advisors prioritize questions that align with the decision maker’s long-term goals and values. Trusted advisors ask questions that seek to understand the context and why that context is important to the decision makers.
Example: Instead of asking, "How can we boost sales this quarter?" a trusted advisor might ask, "What are your long-term growth objectives, and how can we align our current initiatives to support those goals?" This approach makes sure that the advice given is consistent with the decision maker’s long-term vision, further solidifying the advisor's role as a trusted partner.
Navigating Complexity and Uncertainty
Trusted advisors are often called upon to guide complex and uncertain decisions. That's why the underpinning context of Communicating with FINESSE is communicating in high levels of complexity and uncertainty. The trusted advisor’s questioning techniques differ significantly from those used in short-term persuasion or manipulation. They are focusing on a comprehensive understanding of the situation and potential risks.
Encouraging Deep Reflection
Trusted advisors ask questions that encourage deep reflection and critical thinking In situations of complexity and uncertainty. They help decision makers explore different perspectives and consider various scenarios, enabling them to make more informed decisions.
Example: A trusted advisor might ask, "What are the potential risks and benefits of each option we are considering, and how might they impact our long-term objectives?" Such questions help decision makers look beyond the immediate issue and consider broader implications, fostering a more thoughtful decision-making process.
Exploring Alternatives and Contingencies
Trusted advisors ensure that clients are aware of all alternatives and contingencies. They ask questions that prompt clients to think about different courses of action and prepare for potential challenges.
Example: Exploring alternatives and contingencies might include questions like, "What alternative strategies could we pursue if our initial plan doesn't yield the expected results?" or "How can we build flexibility into our plan to adapt to unforeseen changes?" By exploring these alternatives, trusted advisors help decision makers navigate uncertainty with greater confidence and resilience.
Prioritizing Open Dialogue and Collaboration
The nature of the questions trusted advisors ask fosters open dialogue and collaboration, creating an environment where decision makers feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns.
Creating a Safe Space for Open Discussion
Trusted advisors prioritize creating a safe and open environment. Decision makers must feel comfortable discussing their concerns and uncertainties.
In a safe space for open discussion, trusted advisors can ask questions that invite honest feedback and encourage expressing thoughts freely.
Example: A trusted advisor might ask, "What are your biggest concerns about this project, and how can we address them together?"
However, if your decision makers feels like they are getting only part of the story or being persuaded and manipulated, forget about it. You only get one shot at creating a safe space for discussion, just as you get only one shot at credibility.
Facilitating Joint Problem-Solving
Trusted advisors focus on facilitating joint problem-solving. They ask questions to encourage decision makers to participate actively in the decision-making process, leveraging their expertise and insights.
Example: A trusted advisor might ask, "What are some possible solutions you've considered, and how can we build on those ideas to develop a robust strategy?" This collaborative approach empowers decision makers.
However, if you force-feed solutions without any open problem-solving from decision makers, then forget about it. You are finished as a trusted advisor.
Better Questions, Trusted Advisors, and the Long Game
The approach of trusted advisors to asking questions is fundamentally different from that of short-term persuaders or manipulators. Empathy and putting the needs of the decision maker above your own are key. You get one shot at credibility. And you get one shot at asking good questions when it comes to developing trust and relationships as a trusted advisor. Asking questions about big decisions with complexity and uncertainty is a long game.
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